Monday, December 24, 2007

an update on my turned upside down life....


where should I start???? Beginning....Middle...End? Not too sure I'm at the end yet...somehow. Let's start at Thanksgiving or well 4 days after. As you know my husband got a promotion at work. We were excited.... that's hard for me to believe now. Anyway, with the promotion came a girlfriend. Yes, a girlfriend. My husband and I have been seperated since Nov 26. My world is upside down. She's probably pregnant as well,but here's the kicker.....she is not totally sure it is my husbands. She had a live in boyfriend of five years who was cheated on as well. The thing is, he has a problem with producing the proper amount of sperm. They do have one child together though, so it is possible it is his. That's not all, this whole situation is like a Jerry Springer episode, she has been cheating on my husband with her ex while he has been cheating on her with me. They both found out the truth yesterday and guess what???? They are still together.

I have over 10 years with this man and my heart is being riped out. I feel as if I can't breath properly. The deeper I breath the deeper the pain. He tells me to give him until after the holidays. I'm like for what? Isn't this my holiday too? And what exactly am I waiting for? The big annoucement he isn't coming back even though he professes his love for me? Says he can't stop thinking about me.... I am hurting so bad. I have no idea how I am going to make it through without him.

On a brighter note, I have lost 40 lbs in the month this has gone on. Yes I could stand to lose that much and a bit more. Which is coming off daily. I have went and had my hair cut. I had my nils done and actually I ook better than I did ten years ago. Must be why the hubby is confused.

Another bright note, I had to take my GED during all this and passed it in spite of it. I don't know my scores as they haven't come yet. They won't tell you those over the phone. So, I am hoping to start the mini-seimester in march. Yep I'm still gonna go to college. I am trying to keep what dreams I have left alive

Please pray for me and my husband. I know I am stupid, but I want him back. I know, I know.....I belong on the Springer show. But please keep us in your [prayers.

6 comments:

Billy said...

Holy crap. I had no idea this whole time you were going through this. I am so sorry.

You really want him back? He slept with another woman. He took vows. He broke them. Again, he slept with another woman. He was intimate with this person.

I would never be able to take someone back if they did this. Especially if we had children together. Your husband can't have his cake and eat it too. This is what he is wanting.

I am praying for you, but I won't do anything for your husband but pity him. He has absolutely no idea how wonderful you are. You are in my thoughts. Stay strong.

~Vital~ said...

I knw it is hrd t understand,but....yes i want him back. Infact,we are currently working that out. I have 10 years with this man...well over 10 years. I didn't do certain things in my marriage, We are both at fault fre what happened. Ok, no it did not give him an excuse to cheat. He should have just left, not cheated. Believe me he is paying for that decision in spades. The woman he got caught up with is one head case.

I can't expect anyne to understand where I'm coming from....It is hard for me t understand. All I know is My marriage is going to be stronger, and I'm going to cherish it and never take it for granted again.

jockamo said...

Jesus, Vital...when something happens in your life, it happens in a big way. I can't imagine the pain you are going through at the moment, but, of course, the bright side is that you look good enough to eat now...right?

I understand your need for him. Love is an odd thing, and it's not that easy to find, much less hold on to.

You have my thoughts and understanding. Surely, he will come to his senses and realize what a wonderful woman you are...hey, I knew that the first time I read your blog. Strength, compassion and a great sense of humour...if he has an ounce of brain cells, he'll find his way back to you and give you what you deserve.

Love,
Jock

Anonymous said...
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Billy said...

Just checking in to see how you are doing.

Billy said...

How are you doing? Everything okay on the home front?