I had reached my level of stress...so...here I am back at my roots, back in TN. I need this time to get "grounded" again, to find myself before I'm so lost that a rescue is impossible. I'm at my sisters. No other family knows I'm here. Tomorrow I may go visit my mother, not quite sure what I'm going to tell her the reason for the trip is. My mother is fragile, but has the nose of a bloodhound for sniffing "trouble" with one of her "babies". If she sense's that I'm here for any other reason than vaction it could send her "over the edge" for lack of better words. My mother is bi-polar. She is already balancing on the edge. I think she may need an adjustment of her meds. She has already had an episode a few weeks ago. The problem is she lives on a fixed income, thanks to Mr. Bush and his new insurances for social security, they will not pay for the one med that helps her to stay level. That med costs $100.00 a month. I found this out just a day or so ago. I am not able to help her. I am struggling to keep my own home at the moment. Gram and grandpop, with their situation has further zapped our finances. I left florida to get away from "stress" to find it in huge piles here.
I am going to go to the mountains while we are here to further ground myself. I am going to breath in the strength and the wisdom it whispers in the breeze. I'm going to put some dirt in a jar and bring it back home with me, like Jack Sparrow style, to ward off anything evil boding. Being at my sisters has already bolstered my strength. I have till at least Wednesday to gather all the strength I can muster up and take back with me. I 'm sure I have already seen glimpses of me running through the woods, I have heard the giggles of day's past...I am on my way....
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5 comments:
You must be in Eastern Tenn. - that place could revive anyone!
Well, Nell: While you're running through the woods, screaming "tay in the win" I'll be back here hoping you find the strength you need. I'll also be sitting in a pile of caliche, writing dirty words with a stick, till the meds kick in. By meds, I mean JD and red hots.
quindigo: I'm in S.E. TN. Chattanooga at the moment, and yes, I'm hoping for a revival.
Jock: Thank-you Jock, it is appreciated more than you know. When I go back to Fl. I will need all the strength I can get, I go back to face fight foreclosure and the rebuilding of our lives. I may loose touch with everyone as the internet is not as important as other things. When I can I will check in from time to time.
Thanks to all who have been kind and excepting of me. I WILL be back...a little stronger, a little wiser for the wear and tear. Hugs all around!
One thing I've never told you, Vital, and I should have: I've always admired you, from the first time I read you entire blog, to later, when reading about the things you've had to go through and endure the last year or so. You're salt of the earth to me. I'd take 10 of you over those snotty little, uppity twats that think hard work is beneath them.
Be well.
Jock....If you were here I'd just have to give you a big ole' hug...what you just said meant the world to me. Sometimes life can beat you down, and when your a woman out there working like a man it tends to mess with who you are. I'm not afraid of working hard for my family, but sometimes the sacrafices you make can get a bit rough. My husband is currently on his way to take me back home, and yes truth be known we...well we were looking at spliting up...the time we have spent apart has made us grow so much already. The pain was just about unbearable. I love my husband more than words could ever express, I think I have learned just how much deeper my love goes for him. We may loose everything, but at least we will have each other and we are ok with that. Thanks again Jock, what you said really means alot coming from you...if you hadn't noticed...I think your pretty special and have admired you from the beginning. Don't ever change, we love ya just they way you are. I do wish you peace and happiness..oh and yes plenty of money to keep you in kitty litter, cat food and whatever else your heart may desire. Your a good man Jock. I'll check in from time to time. Right now the net is still on, but for how long I'm not sure. Don't go runnin off with out leaving me a bread trail now....Hugs
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